Trusting what you see

I've been trying to get out West since February to visit my mom. Each time I entered the planning stage it didn't feel right.

Single mothering, 1st time teaching the clairvoyant program, biz owner... there wasn't much room to travel. Though I doubted myself and had to handle the feeling of not getting it together in time, I knew without knowing why,  I was supposed to stay on Cape. I stayed put and she came here. ( I'll omit the plethora of mother guilt sent my way in these moments.)

Come October,  I sat in front of my calendar and my intuition said, "There's room now."  And there it was; an open date after student graduation ceremonies, the beginning of a new program which incoporated skype, and financial breathing room. All my cards had lined up. We could travel!

So when my mom said, "No, I may have jury duty," I was perplexed.

My focus for this year has been to listen to my internal timing. And I felt I was doing it in regards to this trip.  It felt right for me, which in the moment meant it was right for everyone involved too.

I had spent the year learning to manage my growth along side my son's and my business's.  I was clearly part of a larger whole and adjusting to how self/ family/ business delicately danced alongside each other as one unit. I was attending to what each of us needed in order to sprout new roots and leaves. I knew that what each of us needed would benefit the whole. I thought this right timing would extend to include my mom.

So why wasn't this working?  When my mom said, "I can't. I have jury duty," it didn't make sense. My son had been talking about us flying on a plane to visit Grandma for a month and his psychic future tellings hadn't changed a bit, in fact they had sped up. He was mentioning our trip every couple of days.  And for me, as I said, there was finally room on many levels and I could choose a date.

Since I am psychic, I decided to be one in the moment. I looked at the energy of the week we wanted to visit and I said, "Well it doesn't look like that week you will have to go in.  It really looks open and we can spend time together," and she said,  "I can't make a decision based on you being psychic. What if we have no time together? We have to wait till after jury duty."

It felt like an arbitrary wall was raised. It felt like she was raising the wall. Psychic or not, it's up to the person you are talking to to look at what you are communicating as spirit.  My mother would not be doing that.  I acquiesced to what she could see.

Though I wanted to say, "Snap out of it."  (The jury duty dates had been partially involved in an earlier travel debacle with again, much guilt, as I couldn't travel before the dreaded dates.)  "Ooooh mom! It's those silly dates again. So arbitrary." OK, so be it.

I've created experiences through the feeling of this has to happen. They aren't fun. It's not a joyous experience to create from the feeling of desperation.

But this was different.  The trip felt so clear and not a selfish creation.  I wished she could see what I saw, but knew she couldn't. We got off the phone.

I felt disappointed in the universe. What's up with this not working? It really does look open for us to spend time together and my psychic son keeps mentioning it too.  

After a few days I looked into her ideas for other dates and was soon awash in the confusion that matched earlier attempts. Uugh. Here we go again.

A week later my mom called.

"Now you have to understand, I wasn't able to ___________ and  I've got this really bad ______ and it's because of __________ and you HAVE to hear all this before I tell you...."

I cut her off; I knew what she was avoiding saying, something she didn't want to admit.  Here's how she put it later in a message, "The downside to this is that now I'm going to have to listen to you gloat all the time, and tell me over and over and over what a good psychic you are. Call me."

I blurted out, "YOU DO NOT HAVE JURY DUTY!"

Long pause. "No. I finally read the pamphlet (that she hadn't read since June) and the date that I thought I started is the date to meet about my jury duty in November."

Ha.

I was not humble. "I WAS RIGHT. YOUR PSYCHIC DAUGHTER WAS RIGHT!" I laughed and laughed.

The floodgates were open. We will never be the same again.

There were frequent flyer miles open for the exact dates and times I needed, which was a week away. My flight times gave me the room to teach my night classes upon arrival in New Mexico and back on Cape. Every need was met. This matched my original intention.

And my mother, I guess, needed to see that miracles do happen. And that her daughter really is psychic. 

Me? Gloat?

Nah, I just took a step in trusting myself no matter what.  I'd been working on trusting my trip planning since February.  I finally got my answer. When it's right, it is right for everybody, no matter what your mother says.